Tuesday, August 16, 2005
DonвЂ™t fret when board meetings run into the wee hours of the night - unless they veer off course.
Recently, former CEO of Boeing Company, Harry Stonecipher, turned his private desires into a вЂњCorporate AffairвЂќ when he included another female executive in his meeting agendas. His sudden ouster from Boeing Company was the last thing he dreamed would appear in the corporate record. No company welcomes such bad publicity - especially when it topples their chief officer.
Stockholders were the most shocked by the announcement. This exercise in вЂњpoor judgmentвЂќ left many wondering what it would cost them. BoeingвЂ™s decisive corporate rendering will resound for years to come and a paradigm to the world.
This high profile вЂњCorporate AffairвЂќ that Boeing grounded will lead the way for others to rethink their own policies. I would guess corporate meetings across the country will restructure the way this issue is addressed. Next monthвЂ™s agenda might include provisions for вЂњcorporate affairs.вЂќ If companies have not readied a workplace infidelity contingency plan, itвЂ™s time is now.
In fact, if Human Resources personnel are not scrambling to put a stern policy in place they are remiss. Every Employee Handbook needs a strict warning setting the record straight - adultery is strictly вЂњoff limitsвЂќ. Another noble course of action is to post вЂњNo Cheating - Violators will be FiredвЂќ signs on boardroom doors. Otherwise вЂњcopy catsвЂќ will cozy their way in without warning and give Boeing some robust competition. Posting the warning is prudent, however decisive action is imperative.
Why do high profile executives and leaders risk it all?
Most adulterers living the вЂњhigh lifeвЂќ feel a sense of impenetrability. They live fast, run hard, but haphazardly drop their guard. (They lose their Teflon coating). Repeatedly media outlets, history books and journalists reveal how affairs topple leaders quicker than any other misnomer. DonвЂ™t they read these warnings?
Cyclically a simple workplace affair evolves into a way of life. A fogged sense of purpose, pride, and egotism takes root. Little by little the capacity to say вЂњnoвЂќ eludes their sense of judgment. They never see the impending danger, much like a deer frozen in oncoming headlights. ItвЂ™s always too late!
Where are most affairs culminated?
Adulterous relationships ignite in the office, the cafeteria, the work floor, during sales calls, or corporate conventions. More often then not investigators unearth paramours at the workplace. After more than three decades of rigorous observations I have personally corroborated workplace affairs numerous times.
Did Boeing Company take the вЂњbull by the hornsвЂќ?
Of course they did. One of the most common tactics employed by intelligence agencies is to compromise key targets with вЂњgood ole fashion sexвЂќ. Once a victim indulges they are trapped. The capacity for trustworthiness totally diminishes, they become compromised. The fallout often includes; job losses, stolen trade secrets, blackmail, information leaks, and loss of business. BoeingвЂ™s firm action may have avoided these crises. They made the right choice. Any company faced with the decision to retain a compromised leader would be foolish not to react like Boeing.
Despite the fact that many courtrooms render no punishment on matters of adultery, вЂњCorporate AmericaвЂќ should execute swift and prevailing judgment.
So what lesson is learned from Mr. Harry StonecipherвЂ™s demise?
ItвЂ™s just plain vanilla. Adultery does not belong in the workplace and should not be tolerated. Companies must establish a comprehensive policy barring adultery with fellow employees - exempting none. In your next board meeting make sure a newly instituted вЂњanti-adulteryвЂќ policy receives utmost attention вЂ“ or else! All this bad press is an unwelcome bedfellow.
В© Bill Mitchell 2005
Bill Mitchell, Seven-Day Detective, is an internationally renowned author who is recognized for his practical, solution-based investigative strategies to marriages facing infidelity. As a recognized expert on infidelity and child custody, Bill Mitchell appears regularly as a guest expert on TV and national talk shows including Dr. Phil, Today Show, and The Early Show. He has been interviewed by numerous publications including Chicago Tribune, Esquire, Ladies Home Journal Online, and PI Magazine.
Bill Mitchell is the author of two books including Adultery: Facing Its Reality and The More You Know вЂ“ Getting the evidence and support you need to investigate a troubled relationship (EagleвЂ™s Nest Publications, LLC 2004).
Bill Mitchell, Seven-Day Detective, is a licensed private investigator in South Carolina. He was formerly licensed in New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Maryland and District of Columbia. He has a wide range of investigative experience, including work in corporate fraud, civil and criminal investigations, insurance fraud, domestic relations, child custody, physical security, government facilities security, guard force management, background investigations, computer forensics, lie detection (Psychological Stress Evaluator), missing persons, security consulting and guest speaking.
His education includes training by the Department of Defense, Dektor Counterintelligence, New Jersey State Police, and various insurance claims organizations. Bill Mitchell is a member of National Association of Investigative Specialists, Alliance of Investigators and Security Specialists, Carolina Organized Retail Theft Task Force, and Piedmont Claims Association.
Bill Mitchell, Seven-Day Detective, received his Bachelors Degree in Psychology from Mt. St. MaryвЂ™s University. He lives in Greenville, South Carolina with his wife and four children.
Monday, August 08, 2005
“ECheating” - a phrase I’ve coined. “ECheating” enchants new scalawags to an internet isle. Rather than sail, today’s Argonauts surf to this island. In great numbers surfers are defying danger and destruction for a chance encounter - a rendezvous.
Here’s one such tale:
Martin leaves mornings for work before rush hour. He hates the wasted time or so he’s been coached to tell Michelle, his unwitting wife. She cleans up breakfast dishes before heading off to work an hour later. Michelle loves Martin and thinks of him throughout the day. She faithfully trusts him. Martin is the first at work. He logs onto the internet using his personal laptop to avoid detection and violation of company policy. He follows these tips from his team of “eCheating” consultants.
Martin receives many hits just a few days after setting up his “eCheating“membership profile. He only has seconds to wait. With his coffee still steaming, seventeen women want to hear from him. Several wanted dialogue, others wanted more! Nervously, Martin rolled his wedding band around his finger tempted to read them all. Eventually he’s overcome with excitement and his monotony is gone! (That’s the Siren’s seductive song.) "Your name is Cindy; you live in Seattle and need to spice up your marriage. This is your first time too? You enjoy things that might make some blush Oh no, what am I doing?” Martin says under his breath.
With a quick click of the mouse Martin’s off the net - escaping what seemed like a crime he’s committed. His heart beat races. Martin is both scared and energized. For now signing off is the right thing. “That’s it, no more,” Martin says to himself. “Well at least they helped me cover my tracks. Michelle will never know I signed up.” Almost coincidentally, Martin’s boss passes the cubicle with a routine welcome. “Oh not bad Paul, thanks for asking¦ Man that was close! I can’t believe what I’m doing. I’m married; what am I crazy; I’ve got so much to lose. What would the kids do if they found out?” Martin asks himself.
Unfortunately, Martin yields to his desires and a rendezvous devised. His next business trip provides the perfect alibi. He will meet his chosen “eCheater” at a nearby convention hotel. Michelle remains clueless. But wait, “eCheating” serves a compelling purpose, true? Just listen to one slogan “When Monogamy becomes Monotony.” This catchphrase conjures up a sense of justification or reason. It includes not just a sex theme, but a sense of fellowship. Does marriage end when it‘s unexciting? Is in fact adultery the answer?
These new dreadful alliances would lead you to believe it is! I am deeply troubled these “eCheating” businesses are flourishing! Isn’t it time we put an end to them? How? What can YOU do about them?
· Be proactive.
· Get informed.
· Search adultery keywords for banner ads.
· Learn these “ECheating” sites by name.
· Search computer history for visits to them.
· Install spy ware on home PC - yours of course.
· Keep an eye on credit cards statements.
· Monitor computer usage.
· Paying attention to your relationship.
· Fight for your marriage and spouse - seek help.
· Don’t use God or the Bible as a weapon in confrontations.
· Therapy sessions don’t work if you are forcing them.
· Don’t require your spouse to go to therapy - it will deliberately fail after a few sessions and be used against you.
· Safeguard your homes and kids from the internet.
· Make time to watch the eHighway carefully for those hazardous detours.
· Communicate better; be more affectionate, appreciative, available, accepting and affirming. · Be positive, attractive and irresistible.
· Consider a make over if necessary.
· Request a copy of my article “Is your spouse cheating online?” Send a request to firstname.lastname@example.org
· Recognize the signs of http://www.cheating-spouse.org/billmitchell.htm, with “Emergency Plan“ in the subject line. We will respect your privacy.
©2005 Bill Mitchell. All rights reserved.
Bill Mitchell, Seven-Day Detective, is an author who is recognized for his practical, solution-based investigative strategies to marriages facing infidelity. As an expert on infidelity and child custody, Bill Mitchell appears regularly as a guest expert on TV and national talk shows including Dr. Phil, Today Show, and The Early Show. He has been interviewed by numerous publications including Chicago Tribune, Esquire, Ladies Home Journal Online, and PI Magazine.
by Bill Mitchell
Consequences of adultery in workplace and society
This is a two-part article on the grave consequences of adultery. In this part, I will discuss the impact on workplace and the overall society. In the second part, I will highlight the dangerous results on children and family life at home. Adultery is an age old social problem. History records many accounts where kingdoms fell, leaders stumbled, careers ended, and children suffered as adultery was committed. Consider the problems caused by adultery in the workplace, courts and nation:
вЂў Presidents are embarrassed, humiliated and loss integrity.
вЂў Politicians lose elections.
вЂў CEOвЂ™s are let go and replaced when adultery is exposed.
вЂў Ministers fall from grace and leave the pulpit.
вЂў CelebritiesвЂ™ careers become short lived.
вЂў Employers fire employees for committing adultery on company time.
вЂў Production rates are decreased while adulterous relationships exist.
вЂў Favoritism surfaces in the work place as adultery interferences with ethics.
вЂў Adultery causes poor work habits.
вЂў Adulterers wastes time with emails, phone calls, late lunches, or shift focus from production to pleasure. (Related article: Signs of an online affair)
вЂў Employees affected by adulterous affairs lose hope that something will be done to bring them to an end.
вЂў Secretaries are used as shields to defer the truth from a suspecting spouse. This involvement creates tension, bitterness and resentment for the person lying for the adulterer.
In addition to these, adultery has several other consequences:
вЂў Taxes the bottom line.
вЂў Removes successful people from their careers.
вЂў Fosters deceptive practices on the job, i.e., using legitimate business trips for affairs.
вЂў Distracts otherwise productive employees from their tasks.
вЂў Drains the energy, emotions, and wisdom from employees.
вЂў Workplace adultery weakens good work ethics.
вЂў Adultery topples kings.
вЂў Is a misdemeanor in most states.
вЂў Brings heavy punishment to those in the military.
вЂў A single person involved in an adulterous affair is guilty of adultery.
вЂў Except for a few states both people implicated are punished.
вЂў Is a felony in Massachusetts, Oklahoma, Idaho and Michigan.
Even our religious institutions are affected. For instance, when members of a religious organization engage in adultery:
вЂў It is one of the most dreadful sins.
вЂў Deprives churches of good leaders.
вЂў Stimulates gossip, ill will and resentment.
вЂў Can be forgiven but often never forgotten.
вЂў Leads to division within the church.
вЂў Adultery is grounds for annulment.
вЂў Is a broken commandment that requires forgiveness, repentance and restitution.
Recommended article: Consequences of adultery on family life and children
Consequences of adultery in workplace and society
By Bill Mitchell
This is a two-part article on the grave consequences of adultery. In the first part, I discussed the impact of adultery on workplace and the overall society. In this part, I am going to talk about the dangerous results on children and family life at home.
вЂў Adultery breaks up marriages.
вЂў Causes children to look inwardly rather than have an understanding of the truth.
вЂў Robs children of financial resources.
вЂў Looks good for the moment but shatters even the best relationships. (Related article: Extramarital affairs do no good)
вЂў Results in sale of primary home.
вЂў Closes out bank accounts and ends retirement planning.
вЂў Increases business for the legal community.
вЂў Generates clients for therapists, social workers, law enforcement
вЂў and the health services community.
вЂў Stimulates a sense of distrust for family - now and in the future.
вЂў Occurs in secret.
вЂў Adultery is often a learned behavior.
вЂў Surviving adultery is a lifetime event.
вЂў Causes stress, emotional upheavals, bitterness, resentment and destruction.
вЂў Marriages consummated in Adultery scars children for life.
вЂў Deprives children of a sense of security.
If you have suggestions or additions for this list drop us an email to Seven-Day Detective 2005
Bill Mitchell, Seven-Day Detective, is an internationally renowned author who is recognized for his practical, solution-based investigative strategies to marriages facing Dr. Phil, Today Show, and The Early Show. He has been interviewed by numerous publications including Chicago Tribune, Esquire, Ladies Home Journal Online, and PI Magazine.
Bill Mitchell is the author of 2 books including Adultery: Facing Its Reality and The More You Know вЂ“ Getting the evidence and support you need to investigate a troubled relationship (EagleвЂ™s Nest Publications, LLC 2004).
Bill Mitchell is a licensed private investigator in South Carolina. He was formerly licensed in New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Maryland and District of Columbia. He a wide range of investigative experience, including work in corporate fraud, civil and criminal investigations, insurance fraud, domestic relations, child custody, physical security, government facilities security, guard force management, background investigations, computer forensics, lie detection (Psychological Stress Evaluator) and missing persons. His education includes training by the Department of Defense, Dektor Counterintelligence, New Jersey State Police, and various insurance claims organizations. Bill Mitchell is a member of National Association of Investigative Specialists, Alliance of Investigators and Security Specialists, Carolina Retail Theft Task Force, and Piedmont Claims Association.
Bill Mitchell received a Bachelors Psychology from Mt. St. MaryвЂ™s University. He lives in Greenville, South Carolina with his wife and four children.
So you find out that your spouse is cheating and you want to go to court. Bill Mitchell advises that it is simply not a good idea to collect the evidence yourself and try to do it on your own. Let professionals do that job so that you have rock-solid evidence in court. In other words, hire a private investigator.
Winning custody today is nearly impossible. A courtroom is no place for the weak at heart and poor planner. Will you fail to plan? If so plan to fail. A private investigator can offer a real solution to strategy for winning. Here's what to consider in your day in court.
Discovering an affair in your relationship is hard enough, but that's just the beginning of what you will face. A family court ruling will be rendered either for or against you and your children. A judge will decide for you based on the evidence, who is the best custodial parent. If your state considers infidelity grounds for divorce, proof is essential! If you are party to a legal action, your observations, discoveries, and testimony are already tainted with bias. This article will give you a few insights to consider. I've identified 5 key reasons you should hire an investigator and in a few words examined the reasons why.
1. Time is of the essence. Depending on the length of an affair, your spouse may end it without ample opportunity for you to document it. On average affairs last six months to a year and then end without your knowledge. However, in some cases, your spouse will divorce you for the mistress. So waiting to prove your case may be too late. Don't let the opportunity escape you.
2. Satisfy your "Need to Know." Over three decades my agencies have worked for countless clients who spanned the
3. You should not witness the affair yourself. In one case a client insisted on witnessing her husband activities. I discouraged her. We placed him under surveillance for a "nooner"--a lunchtime rendezvous. It was a successful surveillance with an unexpected twist. The subject united with his mistress as we anticipated. They choose a remote parking area in front of a river bank on a dead end street. This was a favorite hangout for teenagers surrounded by woods and plenty of cover from public view. We shadowed them successfully. The hood of his vehicle served their desires and clandestine behavior. Roughly fifteen minutes passed and a female emerged from the nearby woods. She moved toward us. We were concerned she would blow our cover. To our shock, it was our client! She was so compelled to witness the affair for herself that she walked through heavy woods and brush to do so. Auspiciously for us and her spouse, no confrontation ensued. Now if it weren't so heartbreaking, the episode would be humorous. Her garb was utterly out of place. A full-length white dress was the wrong attire for the woods. It seemed she never realized her mistake. Take my advice, please leave investigations to professionals.
4. Professional Testimony frequently prevails! Finding yourself seated in a courtroom with two opposing attorneys, court employees, is the wrong time to realize how unprepared you are for day. You will need testimony from others. Friends can offer some degree of support for your case. They may hold up under cross examination. If your witness list only includes family and friends, be prepared for a frightful revelation. Even though they are trustworthy try convincing a court system. You are fighting a losing battle. Their innate bias and testimony bear little weight in the final assessment. Are you confident your witnesses' testimony will have credibility? Do they possess the experience you need? After all, you have one chance in most family courtrooms. What if your witness is caught in a lie? You're finished! A judge will rule against you for bringing in someone who is not forthright. Court testimony is enormously helpful, it often decides legal cases. My testimony has always made a positive difference. If your investigator obtains evidence for your case, use it to your family's advantage. Your kids may just have to visit as an alternative to dwelling with you.
5. Your emotions could get you thrown in jail. Domestic investigations always bring concern for private investigative agencies. One notable case resulted in vehicular homicide. The Clara Harris asked her hired PI for the rendezvous site. She arrived in a rage and killed her spouse with her vehicle. Clearly, when an investigation is warranted hire a professional and keep your distance. If you conduct your own surveillance, be prepared to defend yourself against a stalking charge. Keep your distance and your head!
For additional information on contracting a PI discover how with my new paperback, The More You Know--Getting the Evidence and Support You Need to Investigate a Troubled Relationship. I included an entire chapter on the topic.
To receive a free special report entitled Emergency Infidelity Survival Plan--Top Fifteen Steps to Implement Right Now! or if you suspect an affair, send an e-mail to email@example.com with Emergency Plan in the subject line.
В©2005 Bill Mitchell. All rights reserved.