Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Office Christmas parties can foster infidelity and affairs:
Over the past four decades we have proven infidelity stems from a workplace relationship. There's no more vulnerable time of the year then Christmas to document a cheating spouse. Bill Mitchell is the author of The More You Know “ Getting the evidence and support you need to investigate a troubled relationship.
This season offers the opportunity for the cheater to express affection, gifts - and more. The office party is a perfect alibi or needed excuse for an affair. Are you invited or left home alone? asks infidelity expert and veteran private investigator Bill Mitchell. If not, you need to listen to your heart he suggests. Women instinctively perceive an unfaithful partner while men are less likely to receive signals on their radar screens.
вЂњSpouses might suggest the company party is private or for employees only but you need to know the truth offers Mitchell. All too often our clients feel an overwhelming sense of denial. They are paralyzed by this feeling and regress to the point of hopelessness. This only complicates matters if a spouse is unfaithful.
Here's what to do this season:
1. This time of year reveals the true love of a spouse. If you are feeling slighted or your partner lacks affection, its time to trust but verify says Mitchell.
2. Ask about the party now. Find out when and where they are being held. Ask now; don't wait to be surprised at the last moment.
3. Try to attend all the office events during this holiday. If your spouse is cheating you won't be invited to attend. Conger up your finest request and consider their reaction. Invite yourself and insist on going. Your spouse will certainly have a reaction. By attending you will signal to potential employees that you care about your marriage and maybe end something before it starts he adds.
4. While attending assess the reactions of fellow workers. Their body language is a key indicator of thoughts or intentions. Take mental notes of who comes on too strong.Your presence will have a definite affect or impact on employees nurturing a relationship with your spouse. Any chance for office flirting or sex is thwarted for the moment.
5. Make overt affectionate advances with your mate. If your mate is turned off or obviously uncomfortable you may have confirmed your suspicions suggests Mitchell.
6. Closely scrutinize credit cards statements, phone bills, charge slips, bank statements and pay checks for missing funds. This time of year reveals purchases for a lover. Gifts and money go outside the marriage to other relationships more during this season than any other. Mitchell says follow the money trail; it always leads to the truth.Once obtained be sure to protect the evidence for a later time. Be discreet and thorough by identifying the extent of expenditures until you are assured of each line item on financial statements.
7. Do you fend off the affair or get the proof? Mitchell believes you need proof that will stand up in court before your spouse will come clean. And despite the best proof cheaters deny until death does them part. Should you fend off an affair? The answer lies in the heartвЂќ says Mitchell. If you have to fend off an affair, chances are your marriage is almost over, so satisfy your need to know and get proof! You can always seek counseling once you know for sure.
8. Consider hiring a PI to verify your spouse's activities. If you ever suspected your spouse of cheating on you, this season hire a private investigator. This is our busiest time of year with martial investigations states Mitchell.
Be prepared to hire an investigator to get proof should you seek legal action. Mitchell cautions people that some experts suggest accumulating countless warnings signs will solve their situation. Mitchell says These experts have no or little courtroom experience. Grounds for divorce vary by state. The legal requirements to prove infidelity require credible evidence.
Investigators are vital with respect to child custody matters and distribution of assets. You will need more than signs of infidelity in court to get your share or custody of your kids! Nothing convinces a judge more than video footage and professional testimony in domestic cases offers Mitchell no stranger to the courtroom witness stand. My clients need proof nothing short of that will do. Time is of the essence so get the proof while you can this holiday season Mitchell insists.
Bill Mitchell, Seven-Day Detective, is an internationally renowned author who is recognized for his practical, solution-based investigative strategies to marriages facing infidelity. He has investigated over 2000 cases of infidelity over the four decades.
As a recognized expert on infidelity and child custody, Bill Mitchell appears regularly as a guest expert on TV and national talk shows including Dr. Phil, Today Show, and The Early Show. He has been interviewed by numerous publications including Chicago Tribune, Esquire, Ladies Home Journal Online, Tribune Times, Press & Sun Bulletin, and PI Magazine.
Bill Mitchell is author of 2 books including Adultery: Facing Its Reality and The More You Know “ Getting the evidence and support you need to investigate a troubled relationship (Eagle's Nest Publications, LLC 2004).
Bill Mitchell is a licensed private investigator in South Carolina. He was formerly licensed in New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Maryland and the District of Columbia. He has a wide range of investigative experience, including work in corporate fraud, civil and criminal investigations, insurance fraud, domestic relations, child custody, physical security, background investigations, computer forensics, lie detection (Psychological Stress Evaluator) and missing persons. His education includes training by the Department of Defense, Dektor Counterintelligence, New Jersey State Police, and various insurance claims organizations. Bill Mitchell is a member of National Association of Investigative Specialists, South Carolina Organized Retail Theft Task Force, South Carolina Association of Legal Investigators, and Piedmont Claims Association.
To schedule an interview with private investigator Bill Mitchell or to receive a review copy of The More You Know call (864) 329-0530 or email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.
SEEN ON DR. PHIL
Saturday, December 03, 2005
After rescuing and investigating more than 2000 cases of infidelity I know what to prescribe. Follow this prescription and find healing for your condition.
Here are seven steps to take if you suspect your spouse of cheating on you:
1. Stop asking direct questions. Yes that's right. If you hope that your spouse will tell the truth I can assure you they won't. It's just that simple, no one confuses.
2. Believe the best yet think clearly. Avoid letting your emotions interfere with securing facts. Keep your wits about you. Do your best to handle your life with a sense of purpose and stay positive.
3. Trust, but verify! That means until you know the truth first hand verify any statements, events, excuses or suspicions. Of course your behavior must not reflect your concerns. This just complicates finding answers.
4. Find out the identity of the mistress or correspondent. Your spouse is probably cheating with a coworker. Normally infidelity takes place with someone at work. Eighty percent (80%) of the time we find cheating spouses engaged in a secret relationship with fellow workers.
5. Plan for the future. Don't be left standing out in the cold. Know your financial condition and have a backup plan. Evaluate your finances and stop any threat to your credit or debt exposure.
6. Think like an investigator. Look for clues. Some are obvious while others require real effort. It will take you time to survey places you will find information. Try the computer and cell phones first. Then check bills, receipts and statements next.
7. Look for patterns of deceptive or secret behavior. You don't need to be an expert at this just watch your spouse. He or she might give you obvious clues.
About the Author: Bill Mitchell often appears as a guest expert on major talk shows and has been featured on Dr. Phil, the Today show, and The Early Show. There's more help in his new book The More You Know-Getting the evidence you need to investigate a troubled relationship.ISBN: 09718645-0-0 ($14.95) Visit him on the web at http://www.sevendaydetective.com/the-more-you-know.html.
SEEN ON DR. PHIL
"The infidelity expert!"