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Should you confront your mate?
How can you know the truth?
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What proof holds up in court?
Are you the last the know?
And many more reasons to know the answers. Get the only book on the subject! Just $20.00 with a "no risk" guarantee.
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Tuesday, April 22, 2008
10 Clues of An Online Affair - Catch A Cheating Spouse!
by Bill Mitchell - Seven Day Detective(c) 2008. All Rights Reserved.
Online affairs are prevalent today but what can you do when you suspect something’s amiss? Unless curbed in time this destructive secretive behavior either destroys a good relationship or leads to divorce. How do you know if the internet has become the means of deviant thoughts, intensions or communication without your knowledge? Let’s look at those typical indicators I’ve garnered while investigating hundreds of confirmed affairs. These indicators will help you be the judge in your own relationship.
1. If your spouse or partner spends excessive time surfacing the internet. That being stated, who doesn’t use a computer today for hours? I know only a few people but frankly most of them are the elderly. The benefits of being able to pay bills, staying in touch with family, friends, customers, finding street locations, shopping, and a host of other productive endeavors, puts me in front of a PC everyday. We can not live without them anymore and I shutter when a lighting storm rolls into town restricting my computer usage. Look at the younger generation of “computer savvy” kids and their instant messaging habits. (Only wish I had stock in AOL years ago.) My kids would “give up the ghost” if they lost a computer connection. Do yours go without dinner just to post another comment or send another “pic” to a friend? Seriously, just try to draw them away, it’s no simple task. Does your spouse share this magnetism to the computer, if so, why? It might be the start of something you need to explore.
2. Are passwords, instant message “buddy lists”, internet email accounts and emails concealed - even protected from you! It’s been said by nationally syndicated TV psychiatrist Dr. Phil, “If you have nothing to hide, hide nothing.” So true! Do you find your spouse seeking his or her “own space” at the computer? Are you stonewalled looking for their passwords? Do you need a subpoena to access internet accounts? Does it take “an act of Congress” when you want to admission to their digital world? More typically, does a disagreement ensue? What’s there to conceal? These questions all have obvious answers. The act of hiding information is by its nature deceptive. You are married right? So, what’s the problem? Of course, those of us who have worked security for “Corporate America” understand the need for protection of company secrets. But what legitimate “family secret” are we hiding? Listen, any time a spouse becomes secretive with you, there’s a reason and motive. So what is it? Why? In a marriage gone awry, you unwittingly symbolize the judge or powerful authority establishing “accountability.” Thus a motive! Furthermore, in most states adultery is grounds for divorce. There is, in some “non-liberal” courts, a price to pay or loss involved!
3. If your partner abruptly shuts off the internet and/or computer when you approach. This is knee jerk reaction, but in reality its simply “panic”! Ever open your teenager bedroom door and experience this reaction? Here’s the rationalization. When all other contingency plans fail, like hearing the creaking stairs, light shining from the bedroom upstairs, and other tricks don’t cue the cheating spouse – just put the “off” button. This irrational act is also called a “hard computer crash” and has the potential of damaging the hard drive but also corrupting operating system. What’s the payoff? Is destroying a PC worth it? Maybe! In all probability “yes”. Avoiding detection of an online affair is sufficient motive and surely a good explanation. We consider it a significant indicator of a deviant behavior. Now, bear in mind your spouse may be viewing pornography and fears your reprisal. Just a word of advice, this may explain the need for panic and often is why. But often pornography precedes internet affairs.
4. If the computer and monitor are always positioned to avoid your scrutiny. The study of body language is invaluable to those of us who interrogate suspects, especially during the administration of a lie detection examination. So, when you analyze why the computer is positioned this way, does it make sense? Is that room arranged by you that way or him? This behavior reeks of deception and a common mistake made by cheaters. Why is it necessary to block your view? You should ask yourself, “What’s going on here?” One explanation is this strategy renders additional time to clear a screen, turn off the monitor, or change internet page if and when threatened with exposure. Intentionally turning the monitor or laptop away from your regular view is an indicator that you are “not invited to the party”. Over time this tactic confers less risk of detection. In most instances, having lead time is all that’s needed to remain undiscovered.
5. If internet history is cleared every day, including chat sessions, instant messaging or your spouse downloads software that automatically rids this information. Of course, its possible one uses this technique to maintain a computer’s performance. It’s not the norm. True, computers run faster when less “temporary” files. This is a wise practice. What I am referring to is the repeated habit of purposefully clearing information – and cleared to avoid detection and discovery. While this information is retrievable through the new technology of Computer Forensics, you won’t readily recovery it without paying a professional like me. On the market today is software designed to cover ones “tracks”. Many deviant programmers are making a nice living aiding “cheaters”. The actual purpose of this software is to hide any trace of computer internet usage. Do you find this a little suspicious? I do.
6. Finding computer use after you go to bed, when you fall asleep or in the middle of the night? Have you been awaken by the absence of your spouse only to see him planted at the PC again? Does the rationale fit the need? Is the project deadline real? What requirements dictate a compelling drive to be alone at the computer? When you witness a behavior pattern, then take the time to know more. While work demands a sense of commitment and loyalty, working late repeatedly after you have fallen asleep is a little odd.
7. Your Spouse exhibits a compulsive need to be online and seems defensive when confronted to stop. “When are you coming to bed?” “We really need to go, now, what’s taking so long?” “Can’t you do that later?” Have you asked these similar questions? Teenagers often become “obsessed” with instant messaging. If you have kids who use the computer, you know exactly what I mean. They have trouble walking away from the PC. This same desire or compulsion is cause for alarm. Coupled with defensive behavior this reflects a strong need to continue. You need to know why.
8. Your spouse shares personal information, photos or events with strangers online. Setting up a profile for instant messaging is commonplace these days. Kids transfer digitals all the time. Look at the success of “MySpace.com” and “FaceBook.com. They are the fasting growing channels to network. But they are also problematic too. Buddy lists for example are fertile ground for new friends, especially of the opposite sex. I’ve witnessed spouses who send nude pictures of themselves over the internet to cultivate an affair. They share very personal information that should be reserved to the “marital” home. Maybe it’s time to track this information with software that collects data and computer usage. We recommend investigative spyware. Today, more and more courts are considering text messaging, damaging emails and computer histories as proof that adultery exists. However, it’s advisable to consult an attorney in your state beforehand!
9. Plays online games and frequents “personals” chatrooms. This is where it starts. Play a few games, win or loss but then we need to chat. Well if chatting is fine, why not include your spouse? You can’t, so why do it? It goes much further today. With deceitful websites springing up to promote infidelity your spouse may be shelling out membership fees with a credit card you never knew existed. There is professional help in every city to destroy your marital. I helped Dr. Phil expose the largest one.
10. Exhibits the eight warning signs illustrated in “The More You Know – Getting the evidence and support you need to investigate a troubled relationship.” Do you know what signs indicate an affair? Are you making everyday mistakes that alert your spouse of trouble? What should you do first? What should never do? Did you know affairs can ruin you financially and nothing can be done unless you act quickly? Evidence is always king – not to mention leverage! I’ve saved clients thousands in court and fostered significant negotiations with powerful proof. You should too. Get back in control and be proactive, even if there’s a slight hint of danger. After four decades and thousands of case solved, my book is a “must have” resource guide for every spouse’s personal library. I guarantee it!
Top U.S. Private Investigator Bill Mitchell has worked with the Dr. Phil Show since May 2005 and countless other network producers. He appeared on CBS The Early Show, NBC Today Show, Fox News, Hannity and Colmes. As an infidelity expert he has been quoted by New York Post, Esquire, Chicago Tribune, Press & Sun Bulletin and heard on many radio talk shows. Bill Mitchell is the author of "The More You Know – Getting the evidence and support you need to investigate a troubled relationship." For more information about the book, infidelity or cheating spouses, visit http://www.sevendaydetective.com/.
To receive a FREE Special Report entitled Emergency Infidelity Survival Plan – Top Fifteen Steps to implement Right Now. If you suspect an affair, don’t delay and send an e-mail to pressroom@bellsouth.net with “Emergency Plan” in the subject line. Then get the book today!
Online affairs are prevalent today but what can you do when you suspect something’s amiss? Unless curbed in time this destructive secretive behavior either destroys a good relationship or leads to divorce. How do you know if the internet has become the means of deviant thoughts, intensions or communication without your knowledge? Let’s look at those typical indicators I’ve garnered while investigating hundreds of confirmed affairs. These indicators will help you be the judge in your own relationship.
1. If your spouse or partner spends excessive time surfacing the internet. That being stated, who doesn’t use a computer today for hours? I know only a few people but frankly most of them are the elderly. The benefits of being able to pay bills, staying in touch with family, friends, customers, finding street locations, shopping, and a host of other productive endeavors, puts me in front of a PC everyday. We can not live without them anymore and I shutter when a lighting storm rolls into town restricting my computer usage. Look at the younger generation of “computer savvy” kids and their instant messaging habits. (Only wish I had stock in AOL years ago.) My kids would “give up the ghost” if they lost a computer connection. Do yours go without dinner just to post another comment or send another “pic” to a friend? Seriously, just try to draw them away, it’s no simple task. Does your spouse share this magnetism to the computer, if so, why? It might be the start of something you need to explore.
2. Are passwords, instant message “buddy lists”, internet email accounts and emails concealed - even protected from you! It’s been said by nationally syndicated TV psychiatrist Dr. Phil, “If you have nothing to hide, hide nothing.” So true! Do you find your spouse seeking his or her “own space” at the computer? Are you stonewalled looking for their passwords? Do you need a subpoena to access internet accounts? Does it take “an act of Congress” when you want to admission to their digital world? More typically, does a disagreement ensue? What’s there to conceal? These questions all have obvious answers. The act of hiding information is by its nature deceptive. You are married right? So, what’s the problem? Of course, those of us who have worked security for “Corporate America” understand the need for protection of company secrets. But what legitimate “family secret” are we hiding? Listen, any time a spouse becomes secretive with you, there’s a reason and motive. So what is it? Why? In a marriage gone awry, you unwittingly symbolize the judge or powerful authority establishing “accountability.” Thus a motive! Furthermore, in most states adultery is grounds for divorce. There is, in some “non-liberal” courts, a price to pay or loss involved!
3. If your partner abruptly shuts off the internet and/or computer when you approach. This is knee jerk reaction, but in reality its simply “panic”! Ever open your teenager bedroom door and experience this reaction? Here’s the rationalization. When all other contingency plans fail, like hearing the creaking stairs, light shining from the bedroom upstairs, and other tricks don’t cue the cheating spouse – just put the “off” button. This irrational act is also called a “hard computer crash” and has the potential of damaging the hard drive but also corrupting operating system. What’s the payoff? Is destroying a PC worth it? Maybe! In all probability “yes”. Avoiding detection of an online affair is sufficient motive and surely a good explanation. We consider it a significant indicator of a deviant behavior. Now, bear in mind your spouse may be viewing pornography and fears your reprisal. Just a word of advice, this may explain the need for panic and often is why. But often pornography precedes internet affairs.
4. If the computer and monitor are always positioned to avoid your scrutiny. The study of body language is invaluable to those of us who interrogate suspects, especially during the administration of a lie detection examination. So, when you analyze why the computer is positioned this way, does it make sense? Is that room arranged by you that way or him? This behavior reeks of deception and a common mistake made by cheaters. Why is it necessary to block your view? You should ask yourself, “What’s going on here?” One explanation is this strategy renders additional time to clear a screen, turn off the monitor, or change internet page if and when threatened with exposure. Intentionally turning the monitor or laptop away from your regular view is an indicator that you are “not invited to the party”. Over time this tactic confers less risk of detection. In most instances, having lead time is all that’s needed to remain undiscovered.
5. If internet history is cleared every day, including chat sessions, instant messaging or your spouse downloads software that automatically rids this information. Of course, its possible one uses this technique to maintain a computer’s performance. It’s not the norm. True, computers run faster when less “temporary” files. This is a wise practice. What I am referring to is the repeated habit of purposefully clearing information – and cleared to avoid detection and discovery. While this information is retrievable through the new technology of Computer Forensics, you won’t readily recovery it without paying a professional like me. On the market today is software designed to cover ones “tracks”. Many deviant programmers are making a nice living aiding “cheaters”. The actual purpose of this software is to hide any trace of computer internet usage. Do you find this a little suspicious? I do.
6. Finding computer use after you go to bed, when you fall asleep or in the middle of the night? Have you been awaken by the absence of your spouse only to see him planted at the PC again? Does the rationale fit the need? Is the project deadline real? What requirements dictate a compelling drive to be alone at the computer? When you witness a behavior pattern, then take the time to know more. While work demands a sense of commitment and loyalty, working late repeatedly after you have fallen asleep is a little odd.
7. Your Spouse exhibits a compulsive need to be online and seems defensive when confronted to stop. “When are you coming to bed?” “We really need to go, now, what’s taking so long?” “Can’t you do that later?” Have you asked these similar questions? Teenagers often become “obsessed” with instant messaging. If you have kids who use the computer, you know exactly what I mean. They have trouble walking away from the PC. This same desire or compulsion is cause for alarm. Coupled with defensive behavior this reflects a strong need to continue. You need to know why.
8. Your spouse shares personal information, photos or events with strangers online. Setting up a profile for instant messaging is commonplace these days. Kids transfer digitals all the time. Look at the success of “MySpace.com” and “FaceBook.com. They are the fasting growing channels to network. But they are also problematic too. Buddy lists for example are fertile ground for new friends, especially of the opposite sex. I’ve witnessed spouses who send nude pictures of themselves over the internet to cultivate an affair. They share very personal information that should be reserved to the “marital” home. Maybe it’s time to track this information with software that collects data and computer usage. We recommend investigative spyware. Today, more and more courts are considering text messaging, damaging emails and computer histories as proof that adultery exists. However, it’s advisable to consult an attorney in your state beforehand!
9. Plays online games and frequents “personals” chatrooms. This is where it starts. Play a few games, win or loss but then we need to chat. Well if chatting is fine, why not include your spouse? You can’t, so why do it? It goes much further today. With deceitful websites springing up to promote infidelity your spouse may be shelling out membership fees with a credit card you never knew existed. There is professional help in every city to destroy your marital. I helped Dr. Phil expose the largest one.
10. Exhibits the eight warning signs illustrated in “The More You Know – Getting the evidence and support you need to investigate a troubled relationship.” Do you know what signs indicate an affair? Are you making everyday mistakes that alert your spouse of trouble? What should you do first? What should never do? Did you know affairs can ruin you financially and nothing can be done unless you act quickly? Evidence is always king – not to mention leverage! I’ve saved clients thousands in court and fostered significant negotiations with powerful proof. You should too. Get back in control and be proactive, even if there’s a slight hint of danger. After four decades and thousands of case solved, my book is a “must have” resource guide for every spouse’s personal library. I guarantee it!
Top U.S. Private Investigator Bill Mitchell has worked with the Dr. Phil Show since May 2005 and countless other network producers. He appeared on CBS The Early Show, NBC Today Show, Fox News, Hannity and Colmes. As an infidelity expert he has been quoted by New York Post, Esquire, Chicago Tribune, Press & Sun Bulletin and heard on many radio talk shows. Bill Mitchell is the author of "The More You Know – Getting the evidence and support you need to investigate a troubled relationship." For more information about the book, infidelity or cheating spouses, visit http://www.sevendaydetective.com/.
To receive a FREE Special Report entitled Emergency Infidelity Survival Plan – Top Fifteen Steps to implement Right Now. If you suspect an affair, don’t delay and send an e-mail to pressroom@bellsouth.net with “Emergency Plan” in the subject line. Then get the book today!
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